You Ain't A Sweet Talker
by LeioRossi
Summary: "You have to stop doing that" "Doing what?" "Making me want to kiss you."


At first, Jim wasn't sure what to make of the little nagging feeling he got every once in awhile around Bones. In his mind, it was just the 'Bones' feeling only tuned on the wavelength that Leonard McCoy could give out. But then, it must've been the accumulation of building events that caused Jim to realize what exactly that feeling was. The moment it clicked was when they were in the cafeteria and Jim had managed to make ice cream sundaes come from the replicators for Bones' birthday that Jim Kirk finally realized his dilemma.

"Jim, eat your sundae; it's dripping all over the place." Leonard pointed his spoon aggressively towards the captain who had his spoon halfway to his mouth and was staring at him. The doctor rolled his eyes at Jim's staring and continued eating his ice cream. The worst part was the fact that Jim's mind wasn't fixated on the obvious innuendo that was associated with ice cream. No, it was the flash of pink that came from Leonard's mouth when he licked away stray streaks of ice cream from his lips. It was the shiny gleam left in its wake that captured Jim's attention, leaving him with a strange feeling in his chest. He licked his lips and managed to flick his eyes away when a drop of ice cream landed on his uniform.

Before he could make a move to do anything, Bones was already swiping the spot with a napkin, rolling his eyes.

"I swear that you're twice as much a pain in my ass when you do nice things like this for me." The words were accompanied with a slight smile and an exasperated tone, which caused all sorts of butterflies to release inside Jim. It was at this moment that Jim realized that he was utterly and truly fucked. He wanted to kiss Leonard McCoy. There was a moment when their eyes met but it was broken by the alarm that the next shift was about to start.

"Ah, Bones, you know you love me." Jim grinned, throwing an arm across Bones' shoulders.

"I love ice cream, Jim." Leonard rolled his eyes, shoveling more into his mouth as he stood up. "I'm legally required to take care of you." With that, he left Jim with a bowl of chocolate syrup and melted vanilla ice cream.

"Yeah, but you do it with love!" Jim called after him to which Leonard replied with the middle finger without looking back.

* * *

It was one of the missions that you knew going in was iffy, and Jim should've trusted his instincts more. Now, he was basically bedridden from a faulty lapse of judgment. They had been asked to partner with another ship the USS Baltimore, whose captain believed himself to be deserving of immediate respect and the highest command of authority. This didn't translate well when the planet they landed valued leadership through service, causing a rift between the native inhabitants and the Starfleet personnel. In an attempt to separate a fight, Jim broke his leg and nose, landing him in Sick Bay.

"I can't believe you were stupid enough to get in between an alien 10 times your size and strength and that stupid dunce of a captain from the other ship." Leonard seethed, pressing things on his Pad. "It's only been a few days since you were released, and you've already hurt yourself again."

"You know, you love seeing my face." Jim sent him an air kiss to which Bones rolled his eyes and sighed, putting the Pad down on the table next to Jim's bed.

"I would love seeing your face unhurt more, you dumbass." Leonard cupped Jim's face in his hand, and for a hot second, the captain's breath stopped, his eyes widening as he looked up at the doctor. Jim's eyes flickered down to the pink lips that had been on his mind since the sundae. The second that Jim was about to press into the hand, Leonard turned his face.

"Your nose seems to be doing fine, pretty boy. You'll still have all the girls going for you." Bones smirked as he took the warmth of his hand with him. Jim almost whimpered but kept a straight face.

"Thank goodness. I have to make sure to keep up appearances." Jim winked with a laugh. The warm fluttering feeling in Jim only grew at the sight of the fond laugh Leonard gave. Before Jim could say something sappy, the hiss of the Sick Bay doors preluded the angry steps towards them. Jim could already tell that it was Captain Chilton from the other ship and closed his eyes, something that Bones noticed and cursed under his breath.

"Doctor, I would like to know the reason we have not ceased interaction with the hostile planet and left orbit. I directly ordered for the ship Enterprise to engage in leave." Captain Chilton sneered, jerking his chin up. Jim wanted to snort, because just by looking from underneath his eyelashes, he could tell that Captain Frederick Chilton was one of those people who never grew up from being an attention seeking brat.

"There isn't a reason for us to leave orbit. We were sent here on a mission to get this planet to join the Federation. Also, Commander Spock could've told you this. I don't know why you decided to come here. The captain is on temporary leave and I'm second in the chain of command right now." Leonard sniffed, occupying his attention with some randomly grabbed Pad. The other captain did not take well to being ignored if his nostrils flaring were any indication.

"Look at me when I'm speaking, subordinate." He hissed, and all of Jim's amusement instantly left his body. Nobody talked to his crew like that, much less Bones. "I deserve the respect given to me as a Captain of the Starfleet Federation." Bones' back straightened and he took a step closer towards the captain, and Jim paused for a second, wanting to see what he would do.

"The only captains that deserve my respect are the ones that can handle a peaceful negotiation, and the only competent captain I see is lying in the bed next to us." Heat rushed through Jim at the steeliness and loyalty of his voice. Fuck, he didn't t know that Bones could have such a commanding voice... it almost made him wonder what he would be like in bed. A blush fell across Jim's face, and he was so caught up in the image of Bones holding him down that he almost missed Captain Chilton gritting his teeth and turning away from the Doctor. He angrily headed towards the door, before turning on his heel.

"I'll be reporting this act of insubordination to your captain and to administration." He spat out before dramatically exiting the Sick Bay.

"As if." Leonard scoffed, sitting down on the side of Jim's bed. "They'd never find anyone else to deal with your constantly broken ass." He smirked down at Jim, and the blond looked up, laughing. The combination of their laughter reached Christine who rolled her eyes at their antics.

* * *

It was a week later, and Jim had been doing a good job of keeping the urge to kiss Bones under control. It seemed hilarious that he would even have to suppress the feeling, considering his reputation. Of course, when Bones would come to the Bridge and stand by Jim's side, a steady and calming presence, Jim wished that he could just reach over and drag him into a gentle kiss. A small show of affection- a soft press of lips to lips. It was on the middle of one of these daydreams that they were commed by Starfleet Command and told to transport a child princess from one of the planets in her kingdom to another for an opening ceremony.

The girl was eight or nine years old and was absolutely the cutest thing in the world. Her name was something unpronounceable in any Terran language, so she allowed them to call her Nyata, after Uhura endeared herself to the child. Her people had the unique ability to shift into whatever form they wanted, identifying themselves with a unique pheromone. So far, Nyata had shifted herself into some variation of each of the leadership crew, including Spock whose features seemed to soften minutely.

But of course, it was Jim that entertained her the most.

"Can you make your hair bright green?" Jim asked, a wide grin on his face as he leaned his elbows on his knees. He was sitting in the Captain's chair and they had managed to bring in a hoverchair onto deck for Nyata to sit on. The little girl smiled and a second later, there was a miniature version of Yeoman Rand with green hair. "That's so cool. Can you have three eyes?" A third eyes popped up between on her forehead, and Jim's mouth dropped open in exaggerated awe. "That is so amazing. I am so jealous, but then again, if I could do that, I wouldn't be able to be captain anymore." He ran a hand dramatically through his hair.

"Why?" Nyata asked, frowning.

"Because I would be too beautiful." Jim winked, sticking his tongue out and she laughed, turning to McCoy who was rolling his eyes at Jim's shenanigans.

"Doctor McCoy, is he truly the captain? He seems so childish." Nyata grinned and Leonard barked out a laugh, and he knelt down next to the hoverchair, looking up at Jim with her, bright blue eyes seeming to pin him down.

"You've got us, sweetheart. I'm obviously the captain." Nyata laughed and hugged Leonard who wrapped an arm around her with a chuckle. The image entranced Jim, because it reminded him that Bones had a daughter around that age, and scenarios of Jim returning from work to a home with Bones and Joanna in perfect domestic bliss filled his mind. Jim had wanted something so domestic since he was a little kid, longing for his mom to come home from the stars. The urge to lean down and kiss Bones just kept getting stronger by the day, and then he had the nerve to say cute things like this. Jim wanted to whine in protest at the way the universe was treating him. An idea popped into his head.

"Hey, Nyata, can you do combinations of people?" He leaned in conspiratorially, a wicked grin on his face. She squinted her eyes, looking up in thought then nodded. "What about a combination of Spock and Uhura?"

Nyata took a second and then the next second, there was a Vulcan with milk chocolate skin, bright brown eyes, and pointed ears standing before them and there was definitely some cooing coming from the Communications Deck. The sound of a picture being taken wasn't discreet at all. Jim held a hand to his heart, because god, who knew that they were going to have such adorable children?

"Chekov and Sulu?" Jim begged, pouting his lips. She shifted and there was a curly black haired child in front of them, flashing Sulu's smile and Jim licked his lips before saying the next one, fully aware of how indiscreet he was being.

"Bones and me?"

Leonard's head swivelled over to him with a confused frown on his face. But before any words came out of his mouth, there was a child with Bones' blue eyes and Jim's lips standing before them, looking up at them with a triumphant grin. The image warmed Jim and all he could do was stare at the beauty of a child between Bones and him. Everything in Jim ached for the idea of a home that he would actually want to go back to, filled with a family that he actually adored. After spending so many years hating his home, which consisted solely of an abusive stepfather, the idea of having a home like everyone else seemed like a dream.

His eyes flickered over to Bones who looked as entranced as he was.

"Well, I'll be damned." Bones marvelled, eyes tearing away from Nyata and meeting Jim's. "Our kid could win a beauty pageant."

"Well, if they have our genes, how could they not?" Jim meant to say it with a cocky tone, but instead came out intimately, like shared conversation murmured in a morning haze, unfitting for a very public space like the Bridge. There was paused silence and then there was the sound of an incoming message and everyone automatically went into position, although Bones and Jim's eyes lingered for a moment more before breaking contact.

Later, as Spock was dropping the young girl off, she brushed away her bangs and asked him point blank, "Please inform Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy that I bless their union and wish them a happy marriage."

"I will ensure that your message is properly received," Spock said, eyebrows raising minutely.

* * *

This wasn't like their normal missions. Whoever had done the paperwork for the first visit to this planet had been sloppy with their paperwork and downright lied. They had prepped for this mission, thinking that they were going to be greeted by intelligent and civilized people, only to find themselves in some weird Jurassic Park like town. The supposed civilization that lived there immediately started throwing spears made of an orange rock that was present in the world.

"Who the FUCK did the mission report on this planet?" Bones yelled as Jim pulled him onto the ledge and away from the creature that was clawing up at them. The doctor's hair was disheveled and there was dirt all over his face. "When we get back, I'm going to get Spock to file a report and my resignation from this damn crazy job. Jim, do you hear me?" They kept running further into the forest, their bags hitting them hard as they bounced off of the trees.

"Who else am I going to bring when I'm going to have a near fatal accident?" Jim panted, a laugh escaping him as he continued to run through the unknown territory. The comms were somewhat working but there was something in the atmosphere that wasn't allowing for them to transported up smoothly. Suddenly ahead of them there was a group of three people that had tried spearing them earlier, and it was too late to hide. Bones cursed under his breath and whipped out his phaser just in time to stun one of them, but it was knocked out of his hand by another one.

Jim had been knocked down by the third one and seemed to be grappling with it, fighting for the upper hand. He was kneed in the stomach and the breath escaped him, but with a twist of his legs, he managed to maneuver them around and whipped out his phaser, stunning the alien before he could do anything else. He hissed as he suddenly felt the wind on a cut he seemed to have gotten in the last minute.

Ignoring the pain, Jim's head snapped to Bones who was trading punches with the alien, ducking expertly. Jim tackled the alien to the ground, however the alien seemed to have sensed this and flipped them mid air, causing Jim to fall with his back to the floor. He was disoriented for a second, before he realized that half of his body was hanging off of some ledge.

"Jim!" Bones yelled, worry and anger apparent in his voice. There was the tell tale sign of the phaser being shot, but the alien seemed to have caught on and narrowly avoided the stun. The doctor scowled, running closer and while the alien had its eyes on Bones, Jim pulled his legs from underneath and pushed the alien away with his feet causing the alien to lose his balance.

With one solid shot, the alien went down, stunned, and Bones smiled victoriously towards Jim only to see the spot where he had been empty.

"Damn it, Jim," Bones scrambled over to the ledge and grabbed at the two hands that were hanging off the edge. The captain looked up at him with a grin, and Bones had a half a mind to let him drop. The kid had gone through worse and survived, but his better judgement as a doctor had him pulling Jim up. Bones belatedly noted that Jim needed to eat more; he was underweight again. Jim panted, the adrenaline still coursing through him. His breath caught as he realized how close they were, and his eyes wandered down to Bones' lips.

The doctor seemed to be absorbed in looking at the cut on Jim's face, taking out something from the bag he was carrying and rubbing it on Jim's cheek.

"Ow, Bones. Stop it. That hurts." Jim hissed as he jerked his head back, taking him out of the lovestricken moment he had been having.

"Stop being such a dumbass and jumping over cliffs for some alien that I HAD IN SHOOTING DISTANCE. " Bones pushed harder at the cut on his cheek, but when he looked up at Jim's bright blue eyes, he froze. Something about them made Bones pause for a second and he blinked away, only to have his eyes settle on the Jim's pouting mouth.

"Bones, I—" Jim began to say but before any more words, most likely embarrassing, could escape his mouth, they found themselves in the middle of transport bay. Scotty looking at them with a triumphant look on his face. Spock was also there, and upon seeing their proximity, raised an amused eyebrow.

"Shut up, you hobgoblin!" Bones sputtered and Jim chuckled, secretly reveling at how red Bones' ears were. Maybe…. Maybe there was something there?

* * *

It's a few weeks later, and Jim… well, Jim, in the wise words of children's book, is having a very bad, no good day. It started out with one of the engines blowing out a part that they had just replaced on their most recent dock leave. Scotty had not been happy to find out that Starfleet had allowed some engineer to do some work on the ship. Obviously, they hadn't done it well. This resulted in Scotty complaining to Jim and Jim agreeing that it shouldn't have been allowed in the first place.

Then the Starfleet Admirals had found out how they had dealt with the natives of the last planet. Let's just say they were not amused and not impressed and had berated Jim Kirk with a myriad of regulations that they should have followed. Jim had learned not to argue and simply agree mindlessly when it came to small matters like these. It was incredibly draining, however, to sit for three hours to someone insult him and his experience.

And if that wasn't enough, then he had to all the paperwork explaining why the Prime Directive had been violated and while it had already been unofficially excused, he still had to fill out all the paperwork explaining the lapse. There were so many forms, and subforms, and signatures, along with the normal maintenance the ship needed as a captain, that when Jim Kirk finally logged out five hours later, he was at the point of tears, ready to fall on the nearest flat surface.

Jim was on his way to his room, when he caught sight of Bones' room, and a deep sense of nostalgia filled him. Back when they had been at the Academy rooming together, they would sometimes fall asleep on the same bed after a particularly rough night out or when the heater went down, which it did a lot in the subpar dorms they lived in their second year. Those were always the nights where he slept the best, when he could feel the heat of Bones' body next to him.

It must've been his sleep-addled mind that led him to waving open the door and falling into the bed where Bones squawked in surprise before frowning down at Jim.

"What the hell, Jim?" His voice was heavy with sleep and he groaned, dropping back onto his bed. He yawned and pushed Jim over, leaning over to him to look at him. His hands wandered around Jim's face with much needed gentleness, and when he tilted his chin up, Jim looked up with lidded eyes and just accepted that the fluttering feeling in his ribcage would just always be there. He sighed and sank deeper into the soft pillows that were full of the doctor's scent.

"Alright, so you're not raging drunk and you're not dying so what are you here for kid?" Bones began to sit up but Jim just yanked him back down.

"My room is too far, and I've had a bad day. I wanted to feel like the worst thing that was gonna happen was that I was gonna wake up late tomorrow for Astrobiology with Professor Katz." Jim stretched and managed to take his shoes off and kick him off the bed. He laughed softly as he snuggled back into Bones. He crawled his freezing toes up Bones' leg to which the Georgian kicked him lazily with a scowl.

"I almost didn't graduate with you because of that class. She was always so hard on us." Bones stretched his arms out along Jim's and took his hands in his. Jim could feel Bones' heartbeat on his back and he turned his head towards Bones. Their eyes met and Bones gruffly said, "I'm checking your heartbeat."

"Alright." Jim wanted to laugh but he feared that it might break the moment that they were having. Bones kept quiet for a second, his breaths falling across the back of Jim's neck, and for a second, he thought that the doctor might've fallen asleep, but then, Bones carefully enlaced their fingers together.

"You know, I miss the Academy sometimes." Bones murmured as he hugged Jim's middle and buried his face into Jim's neck. "When we finally got our posts, I had gotten so used to your damn snore that I couldn't sleep without it for the first few nights. Even my sleeping schedule got screwed up cuz of ya."

"Whatever, Bones, you know you loved it."

* * *

"Captain, I believe that you have had enough to drink." Spock leaned towards Jim who stuck his tongue out, laughing. "You have imbibed quite a lot of alcohol tonight."

"I might've had a few shots too many, Spock, but don't worry. I know my limits." Jim winked at him as he cradled a tequila mix in his hands. The crew had decided to celebrate their third-year anniversary of the mission with a much-needed shore leave. Most of the crew went planet side, but a skeleton crew and the leadership crew stayed onboard. Scotty, though, was definitely going to have a party though and brought out the alcohol he had stored away for just this type of occasion.

At first, Jim had been simply nursing one of the sweeter drinks but then Chekov, the boy slightly drunk, had challenged him to a shot contest of what he called "Russia's finest vodka". It was not, but Jim Kirk always loved doing these things with Chekov since the ensign was always super enthusiastic.

However, Jim was not invulnerable to its effects.

"The Keptin may be a little drunk, but it is for ze best." Chekov giggled, and Jim chuckled with him. The rest of the crew were simply rolling their eyes, amused at their antics, but then the doors slid open and in walked Christine Chapel, closely followed by the ship's beloved CMO, Leonard McCoy, looking irate as ever.

The smile on Jim Kirk's face could not be wider, and he stood up, albeit a little shakily, and waved the CMO over.

"Bones, you won't believe what Scotty has been hiding all this time in the Engineering Department." Jim grabbed Bones' shoulder and the other lifted an unamused eyebrow, pursing his lips.

"I would believe if you had decided to share it at all, Jim." Bones waved a hand at the already empty bottles. "But you seemed to have drunken it all like the uncultured heathen you are." He put one of the medical scanners to his face, having a pinched look in his face. Jim let him do his med stuff, exasperated but deciding to enjoy the view rather than complain. After all, all the bad stuff about being examined seemed to disappear when he got to have such a view above him. And Bones' fingers were a thing that people of the old days would've sculpted and adored and worshipped. Those fingers that knew exactly how to kill a man or cure him in a single move. Jim's cheek grew rosier.

"Well, it seems that you'll be fine for now. Just make sure to drink water." Bones pocketed the scanner before grabbing the glass out of Jim's hand. The captain made a spluttering noise of protest, crossing his arms when Bones knocked it expertly back in one solid movement. The stretch of his throat was put on full display and his hair became slightly disheveled from its neat official look. Jim would be lying if he said that he wasn't getting a little hot under the collar.

The CMO made himself comfortable by sliding into the seat next to Jim, closest to the wide window that revealed the wide wonder that was the universe. Jim was suddenly hit with the memory of their first meeting, Bones warning him that he may throw up on him and Jim trying to reassure him that they were safe. How their roles had switched since that moment. Now, it was usually Jim who needed the reassurance that everything was going to be fine, and Bones was the one who usually had to clean up after Jim's disasters.

He looked over at Bones, who had poured himself another drink in the time that Jim had zoned out. His hazel eyes were staring out at the same stars completely ignoring the rest of the party that was happening in the room. Jim laughed.

"You don't seem to be too afraid of space anymore, Bones." Jim grinned, putting his chin in his hand, looking at him with incredible fondness. "What happened to all that talk about darkness and danger that you used to rant on 'bout?"

"I can't spend all my time worrying about space and you." Bones sniffed with a smile hidden behind his glass. "I figured that you could perhaps do your job as captain and keep us alive, while I make sure you stay in one piece."

"Aw, you're so nice."

"It's gonna charge extra so don't get too comfy, Jim." Bones pointed one of the mixer straws at him and Jim smiled fondly. "You know that I'm always going to be around to save your ass from near death or in some cases actual death. You're not going anywhere I can't follow." Bones' lifted in a half smile, looking every bit the smooth southern gentleman he was. He licked his lips and every defense in Jim crumbled at the sight.

"You have to stop doing that." Jim whined, pointing a finger at the CMO.

"Doing what?"

"Making me want to kiss you." Jim grabbed Bones' hands. "I want to kiss you and hold you and love you but you never get out of Sick Bay. And when you're in Sick Bay, you just want to stick me with hypos." Bones' eyebrows went up and there was a small pause before Bones started laughing, his head going back, taking one of his hands and covering his face. Jim was little put out at first, clutching to the one hand he had left.

"Leonard, this isn't funny."

"Jim, that was the worst love confession I've ever heard, and I better get a better one when you're sober." Bones said as he pulled Jim in by the neck and pressed his lips against Jim's. The soft give of Bones' lips made something in Jim unlock and it felt like if all the butteflies that had been stuck in there floated up into his arms. He didn't even remember when he had arms around Bones neck, but he could remember the exact moment when he felt Bones' soft eyelashes against his face.

He was finally kissing the CMO of the starship Enterprise.


End file.
